I'll admit that I don't do to much research concerning children with disabilities. I prefer the 'seat-of-my-pants' method...which is usually followed by the 'weeeeeell-that-didn't-work' attitude.
Every child, with or without a disability, is different. Reading takes time, I want to read for fun. I left school 25 years ago and have no desire to go back. I'm sure there are books out there that can help, but is there really a book to prepare a parent for the moment their child becomes aware of their body? My son slapped me in the face with it all when he was in late grade school.
Andy first showed signs by adjusting the crotch of his jeans anywhere and everywhere. He could be in mid sentence, stop, pull down the center of his Levis, and finish his thought- never missing a beat. So- to avoid having a discussion I clearly wasn't prepared for- I bought him larger underwear and looser jeans- like any mother in denial would do!
Well THAT didn't work!
I tried scolding him and telling him to put his hands in his pockets.
Well THAT didn't work either!
Finally- I was forced to talk with him and determine what exactly was causing his obvious discomfort and try to find a resolution.
Me: Andy, what is going on with you. Why do you keep 'fixing' your jeans.
Andy: Well Mom, you see- I have a tail.
Me: A tail?
Andy: Yep, and sometimes my tail just gets busy and won't stay where it belongs!
Me: Alrighty then.
Off I ran to Wally Mart intent on buying another set of underwear. Perhaps the originals had gotten stretched and allowed his 'tail' to wander a bit? Obviously, going up a size hadn't helped.
When I consulted my husband about my current dilemma, I got nothing but a smirk and a list of options should I attempt to change the name of Andy's anatomy.
(Yeah- Like I want to call it a Johnson- seriously?!)
I asked him if this was common among all boys that age- I got nothing.
(Because apparently John jumped from age 6 to age 27 overnight!)
So I went with what I had and what worked in the past. Cues, reinforcing good choices, and an unzipped jacket in case I needed to throw myself in front of him during a 'tail modification' in public.
I eventually discovered his 'tell' was walking like he had just rode a horse bareback for 15 hours. His teachers were wonderful about the whole thing- they took it in stride. We shared ideas and tactics and dealt with the moments when they happened.
Then he decided to up the ante in High School- ugh!
Andy: Guess what Mom.
Me: What?
Andy: Sometimes my tail tingles.
(It took me a minute to process what he said. How was I going to spin this one?)
Me: (cautiously) Like "Spidey Senses say" kind of tingle?
Andy: Oh yeah, must be because of that.
One day I recieved a text from his speech pathologist (who was also my good friend). My son's teachers long ago learned that if everyone is on the same page, Andy will respond faster.
Chris: So what do you say when Andy keeps fixing himself?
Me: Oh- you mean his tail?
Chris: Yes, wait- his tail?
Me: Yep, that's what he calls it. But I wouldn't worry about him fixing it in his pants. I would be more concerned when he tells you it is "Tingling"!
Chris: ????
Thankfully, this phase seems to have passed and I understand that I should be extremely grateful. I know some parents have struggled with far more difficult situations in this arena.
I'll take this as a 'Gimme from God.'
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