The early years in our house were simple.
Santa brought everything and you had to wait for Santa.
Kelsey figured things out in second grade. When she finally asked 'the question' I turned the tables on her and asked her who she thought brought all those presents every year.
"Grandpa and Grandmas."
Although their grandparents are wonderful people- I had to set her straight on that theory! No way were they getting total credit for that doll house and billions of dollars in Barbie gear.
Michael was about the same age when it occurred to him that things weren't quite kosher. We sat him down and explained that Santa was everywhere and more a spirit of giving and loving than a real person.
Kelsey and Mike really seemed to enjoy keeping Santa's spirit in our home for many years. Although their brother was almost the same age, they played along and it was sweet to see them with big grins on their faces Christmas morning as they watched Andy sing Santa's praises.
Andy was about 13 when it became obvious that this man-child standing in Target's toy section was a bit to old to be telling me that Santa should bring him a new set of Sponge Bob figurines. I couldn't alter his wish list, but it was getting a bit embarrassing for his siblings. The tricky part was being certain that he didn't break every child's heart around him. We practiced whispering about Santa at home, in public, and how we didn't use the phrase "Santa isn't real" anywhere!!
Once Andy caught on, the holidays became trickier. I couldn't just put presents under the tree. The first year I tried that- Mike wasn't shocked by a single present. I went through a whole roll scotch tape well after I was done wrapping because Mike was covering his tracks. We knew what he was doing, and he learned a valuable lesson. It wasn't as much fun to know what you were getting- before you even got it.
What could I do?! I first tried hiding them at my in-laws house. Apparently the boys had scoped out our home and found no evidence. One visit we found Andy searching his grandparents closets- looking for their unwrapped gifts!! Luckily, we beat him to the hiding place!
One successful year I hid them in the neighbor's basement. Unfortunately- I fell in the driveway trying to bring back a laundry basket full of gifts and almost broke a lava lamp!! It had to be a sight to watch John and I placing gifts under the tree after shaking each package and checking them for leaks and possible crunchy noises.
The past few years I have developed a method that I find ingenious- my kids think it is borderline cruel. Over the past few holidays I have:
1) Wrapped all the gifts and wrote a different child's name on the tag. Kelsey's presents were actually Mike's- Andy's gifts were really Kelsey's- etc.
That year I'm certain Mike was frustrated. I know he sneaked a peak into one package a day before Christmas that had a hairdryer inside. Mike had a buzz cut at the time.
2) Numbered all the packages- no names. Just 1,2,3, etc. I hid the master list and only told a few girlfriends where it was (in case I got hit by a bus, or forgot myself!)
My intention was for each child to take a turn and watch their sibling open their gift. This solution had its set backs. For some reason, in the commotion I lost track. Each child opened at least one gift that was meant for someone else. It was funny to see Andy open a set of earrings and say "Here Kelsey, I think these are for you."
3) This year- I wrapped each child's gift in a specific gift wrap. The wrap is gender generic. Each set of wrapped gifts simply has a number on it written with a Sharpe marker. This is the actual order I want each gift opened to make the planned surprises much better.
The gifts aren't under the tree this year. Heck- we only put up 1/2 of the tree. The 6 month old puppies would eat the ornaments, and Milo would probably try to water the tree if is wasn't tie-wrapped to a side table and protected by a baby fence. All the gifts are in a pile on my desk in the bedroom. They are all securely taped, and some are strategically wrapped to throw off any inquiring minds.
Kids-with or without a label- have a hard time with anticipation (good and bad). Over the early years, I witnessed massive melt downs because they need to get through 3 more days, picked up one boy from school after being in a fight because he couldn't handle the stress, was told he will die because everyone else already has the game, and said "No, no, NO!" until I am blue in the face. It never goes smooth, but it doesn't last forever. We stick to the game plan, ride the waves, and help them practice self control. If they don't master these skills now- life will be rough.
Sometimes I sing "You Can't Always Get What You Want" by the Rolling Stones and other times I look them in the eyes and sing "Anticipation" by Carley Simon. It is my coping mechanism because music soothes my soul. Warning- it usually invokes death stares from a child.
Our jobs as parents is to challenge them, reward them, encourage them, and most of all- love them. Once we lost the 'Santa Claus effect' I struggled to help my boys deal with anticipation, waiting, and patience. Christmas time generates 'anticipation stress' for them. I don't want to be cruel (although I giggle each year when I come up with a new idea) I just want them to be surprised, happy and think we are the Greatest Parents on Earth come Christmas morning- not some random day in November or December when they took a peak!
Merry Christmas everyone- may you be surprised this holiday and (if you are lucky enough to have children of you own) be declared the Greatest Parents on Earth!
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